Nocturnal thoughts

ن


Noon

I had a dream last night, an image of my love and me. We were talking about the letter noon. Actually not so much talking as me holding a lecture telling him about my use of the letter noon in the thesis I'm writing. I have not really written this chapter yet - in real life - but every night I dream that I write it, and in the morning, I can remember every word of it and every twist and turn of my sentences. Last night I presented my thoughts to the one I love and whose opinion I care most about. I told him about the shape of this letter, and how much (even before I understood its importance) it had always fascinated me. The letter holds an important place in Sufism, because it's the letter of nour (light), the essence of the divines' manifestations in nature. You can see that the shape of the letter reminds of a heart and within it, there's a trace, a perfect point. It is the mark left by the holy in the humans’ heart. Further you can see it as a congregation with a single point separated from the worshipers, as a holy spirit floating over their heads or even as a leader delivering a message. The letter noon denominates not only divine/profane interaction, but also all kinds of human interaction - the little conversations we have that makes us think or see things differently, the moments of clear-sightedness and the moments of realization - that we are only so small, and life is precious. This letter will always remind me of this. How extremely fragile life is, and how we always should make the best of it in our interactions with each other. My mom told me a story as a child, I can’t have been more than 5, and it left a mark so strong that even today I remember it vividly. It was a true story about this girl who had a fight with her father, and then went to bed mad at him. The next day her father was dead. He had passed away the same night. Imagine all the guilt that went through the little girls head... How she every day for the rest of her life wished that she had said, "goodbye" and "I love you" to her dad before sleep. The story still fills me with awe, and I can never go to sleep mad at someone or with someone mad at me.

Some Muslim scholars believe that noon ن و ن when first introduced (in the second revelation to the prophet Muhammad) indicated the two worlds, nour (meaning light as I already mentioned) and naar (fire or hell). They are the opposition between lightness and darkness, good and evil. They breathe because of each other and continue to exist along side each other in order to survive. Life thrive on death as nothing would seem good had there not been evil. So my final thoughts tonight, as a human being balancing on the edge between two worlds - these two noon-planets revolving around the same axis - is a wish that we all fall asleep tonight leaving bad feelings behind and make peace with each other – because the difference between eternally filling your heart with light or fire can sometimes just be a matter of a proper goodbye.